Do you know where your waist is? No, I’m not calling you fat. It’s just that when I last went to the doctor’s, the bast … the highly-esteemed health professional decided to give me a mini-MOT. Including measuring my waist. No big deal. I know the official recommendation is to keep it below 31.5 inches (I’m no metric martyr, but if I’m measuring my body I don’t want scary high numbers, ok?). That’s 31.5 inches if you're a woman. If you’re a man, you get another 5.5 inches. On your waist allowance. Keep up.
No problemo. I’ve always had a waist of less than 30 inches. Only it turns out I haven’t. Because my waist isn’t where I think it is. Very likely, nor is yours. I’ll just bet, like me, aaaaall these years you’ve been measuring that bit which is sort of in the middle of the hourglass (let’s not argue about whether we’re actually hourglass-shaped, eh?). Ooooh no, you don’t, says Doctor Fatherless – the waist measurement should be taken JUST BELOW YOUR BELLY BUTTON. Clearly the man is a quack, I thought, but no … http://www.bhf.org.uk/bmi/bmi_measurewaist.html?frmFlash=12
So we resumed measuring, and thankfully my waist circumference is fine. But henceforth, I’d like you to call me Wayne. Thank you.
Which brings me to another less obvious indicator of general health. Your blood pressure. Why have I suddenly gone all serious in this short-term blog, mostly discussing my half-arsed training regime undertaken to render me just about capable of cycling 55-miles? Because I’ll be cycling with a man whose blood pressure had a flipping good go at killing him. He was only 38 at the time. Scary, huh? Simply put, if your blood pressure goes a bit Radio Rental, it makes your brain explode. That’s what happened to him. Don’t let it happen to you. Get your blood pressure checked. Soon. Really. Steven the UniCyclist www.unicycle50.com is trying to raise awareness (and not his blood pressure again) of the Blood Pressure Association http://www.bpassoc.org.uk/Home and, ideally, they'd like everyone to be on top of this scary, silent killer. Have a read – it could save your life.
I’m lucky, I have low blood pressure. That can get dangerous too, but in my case it's pretty unlikely. However, I have to keep my fluids up or I have the stamina of a Victorian poet. Altitude and mild dehydration have me fainting like like a nun in a fetish club (although like you, I'm slightly perplexed by her choice of venue). So, provided I’m well-watered, I can do absolutely anything. However, in all honesty, I find most exercise boring, it doesn’t engage my attention span. But, quite why sitting down having a nice read is preferable to hurtling about in some way beats me. If my complaint is that exercise is dull, isn’t flinging limbs around more entertaining than sitting? Shouldn't I be gripped with mounting excitement at the prospect of a 55-mile cycling adventure? I am. Sort of. It's just the thought of being the fat, panting, whingey liability at the back ... as the lithe, athletic, pedalling paragons scythe indomitably through the miles. It's all pointing towards one of those film scenarios, you know, the ones where early on in the escalating action, you spot the lame, runty, unrecognizable actor who's going to cop it from the 'bad thing' ... you know, the ginger one. Yes. It's me. I'm going to die.
You could save my life life by being a crappier cyclist than I am ... join us ...
No comments:
Post a Comment